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Friday, May 9, 2014

Writing same sex vs opposite sex ... Which is your fav? RE Hargrave

As part of my A Divine Life (Edition 1) Blog Tour (8/8/13 http://bit.ly/1gmnLZy ), I was asked to write the following as a guest post, and thought it was worth sharing again:


Writing f/f v m/f v m/m . . . Which one is your favorite? Do you think writing each one brings you to a different place? 

Wow, what a great question. I had to spend some time thinking on this one, to be honest. In doing so, several thoughts occurred to me.

Am I really “qualified” to answer this question when my own dabbling in the slash and femmeslash genres has been limited at best? While I've written each pairing separately, and in a variety of configurations such as m/m/f or f/f/m, my works have been predominantly heterosexual. It’s what I live; i.e. I know it best.

But does that mean it’s my favorite? Not necessarily. Does a mother have a favorite child? They might all be similar because of genetics, but each one is precious and unique and you can’t choose one over the other. You love them for who they are inside.

I ventured into writing male/male first with a couple of one shots, and then a collaboration effort for a full length story. It wasn't too long before I gave the female/female pairing a try. Granted, these stories were written as fan fictions. The Divine Trilogy is the first “official” project I've done that includes not only hetero relationships, but gay and lesbian ones as well.

Guess what I discovered by trying my hand at the different pairings? It really is so basic, you’ll laugh.

For me, once I factored out the physical components of what goes where, I was left with a single truth. The intimacy of the act, the earth-shattering connections, the tender moments — even the hot, sizzling ones — are all the same regardless of the gender. At the end of the day, there is kissing, hugging, and probably holes being filled. Who cares if it’s two guys, two girls, or one (or more) of each?

It boils down to you can’t choose who or what makes you happy. A solid relationship is based not on the exterior parts of the body, but on the connection at the mental level and in the heart. In my writing, it’s not the physical bond between characters, but the emotional ones where the story comes to life.

Love equally — simple as.

http://www.rehargrave.com/?zx=ae444b22e7ea0da5
For more with RE Hargrave, visit www.rehargrave.com
 

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